There are very few people that I know of who actually enjoy conflict. But the truth of the matter is that conflict is just a part of life, and the church is certainly not exempt from it! We know that at one time in the garden of Eden relationships all twinkled with delightful perfection because they were...well, perfect. Then we have the whole mess with the forbidden fruit and sin enters the picture. Conflict is not far behind. Fast forward from the garden to the book of Acts (which we are currently preaching through on Sunday mornings). Acts is an amazing story of God's redeeming love for people of every tribe and nation. The New Covenant is being established, the Holy Spirit is coming in power and indwelling the hearts of God's children. But in the middle of all of this Luke takes the time in chapter 15:36-41 to describe a relational conflict between Paul and Barnabas. Why in the world does Luke record this? Does a little spat among the early church leaders really merit this kind of press coverage? We have to take some educated guesses but I think there are a couple reasons why Luke gives us these details. One, even the apostles had relational problems, so we know that we can expect them too. Two, we see even in these few verses that God can use conflict for His redemptive purposes and for his Glory. We usually think that conflict is always bad. That does not seem to be the case. Think about it, Paul decided not to take John Mark with him because John had abandoned them at an earlier time. So Paul and Barnabas separate and now instead of one missionary team, there are two. I imagine this greatly frustrated the devil who must have been hoping these leaders would pack things up for awhile, complain about how they had been hurt and put the mission of God on hold for a little "down time". Nope. They stay on mission and through their conflict God is glorified and literally world history is never the same. As a church it is critical for us to know how to handle and respond to conflict in a godly manner. In a wonderful, Bible-centered book called "The PeaceMaker" Ken Sande says that there are three general responses to conflict:
Escape: Refuse to deal with it, stick our head in the sand and hope it goes away. Not real effective by the way...
Attack: Respond out of anger and pride, makes the situation worse...
PeaceMaker: Deal with problem in grace and love...
So how do we respond to conflict? What happens when we don't deal with it in love and grace? What happens to the hurt that we carry around with us for the rest of our lives? What happens to the way we view the church and those who have hurt us? When we refuse to deal with conflict we end up hurting oursleves and others in the church because there are broken or fractured relationships that need healing. It is neat to see that many years after this conflict between Paul, Barnabas and John Mark that Paul is able to refer to John as a "comfort" to him (Colossians 4:11). God is letting us know that the relationship had been restored. The price of dealing with conflict God's way (Matthew 18:15-17) is high, it requires both courage and grace. But the cost of not dealing with it is even higher, division, bitterness, and losing out on the opportunity of seeing God restore you to a bother or sister in Christ.